It doesn’t take long before Baldur’s Gate 3 starts handing out dozens of magical weapons like candy, so like a homicidal Marie Kondo, I’ve been trying to let go of Baldur’s Gate 3 loot that doesn’t spark joy in my backpack. I’ve said goodbye to some pretty cool axes and amulets just so I don’t have to watch them collect dust anymore, but one weapon I doubt I’ll ever part with is the Punch-Drunk Bastard.
The Punch-Drunk Bastard is a greatclub (read: a bigass bat) found in one of the coolest side areas of Act 2. It’s my new favorite weapon, though I’m embarrassed to admit it’s been lying unnoticed in Astarion’s inventory for the last 10 hours. Its modest base damage of 1d8 made me glaze over it at first, but then I read its unique trait:
Tippler’s Rage: While you are drunk, you have Advantage on attack rolls. You also create a blast with each attack, dealing 1-4 Thunder damage for 3 meters.
Really burying the lede there, Larian: a greatclub that gets constant advantage and wicked AoE damage as long as you can stay wasted? Incredible, no notes. Here’s where to find the Punch-Drunk Bastard in Act 2.
Baldur’s Gate 3: Where to find the Punch-Drunk Bastard greatclub
Act 2 of Baldur’s Gate 3 is, above all else, a bummer. It’s dark, the shadows are turning all living things into zombies, and there’s a distinct lack of cozy NPC hubs. Instead, Larian turns up the creep factor and doubles down on bizarre enemy encounters. You’ll find the Punch-Drunk Bastard near one such encounter in The Waning Moon, a not-quite-abandoned tavern in the center of town near Moonrise Towers.
The club is waiting in a chest in the backroom of the tavern, but reaching it isn’t as simple as picking a lock or lifting a key: going near the door to the backroom triggers a conversation with a bloated behemoth with a case of Oogie Boogie body who challenges you to a drinking competition. Succeed a gauntlet of charisma and constitution checks and you can avoid conflict, but more than likely you’ll have to take him down. The good news is it’s a pretty fun fight (tip: wait a few turns before attacking him, and Examine (T) his traits carefully).
After you come out on top, you’re free to pick the door or pilfer pockets/drawers for the backroom key. In the back you’ll find some pretty rare alchemical components, a book that teaches the recipe to a gnarly poison, and the chest holding the Punch-Drunk Bastard.
I’ve been taking the club for a whirl, and it’s a surprisingly viable weapon option for where I’m at in the game. You can trigger the drunk bonus by drinking any bottle of alcohol right before a fight breaks out. The drunk status lasts for two turns, and you can reup it by drinking another bottle with a bonus action. I gave it to Karlach, the super cool/pretty/fun/tough barbarian, but it’ll work great with any class proficient in greatclubs. With two normal attacks and a frenzy bonus attack, and bonus AoE thunder damage, Karlach is wiping the floor in fights she used to struggle in.
The only sticking point is that it’s easy to accidentally run out of alcohol. There’s lots of it to find out in the world, but a lot of mine got gobbled up by auto selecting camp supplies for long rests. If you’re planning to pick the Punch-Drunk Bastard up in your game, start stashing booze away in a pouch for a rainy day.
To hold you over, I’ll leave you with the Punch-Drunk Bastard’s flavor text:
You see… *hic* the thing… the really, really important thing *hic* … about this item is *belches copiously* … oh sod it, it’s a club. Enjoy.